In order to gain a clear understanding of your emotions, the adoption, and your place in it, take some time to examine where you are now. Starting with a good foundation, a good acceptance of your present emotional and physical being, will help you to feel secure and not so overwhelmed.

1. How do you feel about your decision to relinquish since your baby has been born?
   
2. Have you received post-placement counseling, or are you currently in counseling or attending a support group?
   
3. Are you able to talk about your child, and to whom?
   
4. Write about your family and closest friends reactions to your decision, and to you after you placed.
   
5. Are you currently in school or working, or planning to return?
   
6. How are you spending your free time?
   

The first six to twelve months after placement is a very difficult time. You may feel that you are expected to "return" to "normal" life quickly, in order to move beyond the grief. While it is important to look ahead, it is just as important,if not moreso,to experience a healthy grieving process. This means not pretending that you’re doing okay if you’re not.

List several emotions or issues that you are concerned about at the present time.

Now, take a moment to review what you’ve written. Answer the following questions for yourself:

1. Right now I feel ...
   
2. I’m looking forward to ...
   
3. I need help from ...
   

Accepting where you are now will give you the tools to move forward in a healthy way. Knowing how your feeling, what your needs are, and whom you can go to for help will give you a strong direction.

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